∞ 2/20/2012 (8:58am) 49 notes

Waiting For Something

jonathandiener:

It’s been a pretty eventful year and now is the time I hopefully enter a new chapter of my life. I’m learning a lot about myself. I’m learning a lot about what I want for my future and how I can go about achieving it. I know who I want in my life and who I don’t need.

i’m learning that it’s ok to be the butt end of a joke once in a while. I get really defensive when I’m called out and the normal human reaction is to instantly blame someone else even when you know it was your fault. I wait a few extra seconds and I’m learning to laugh at myself instead of hold an unnecessary grudge. It’s hard but I think I’m doing a pretty good job. Admitting you’re wrong is hard to do but it’s a big part in maturing.

I’m learning that being on the road with 6 other guys all the time means there’s a lot of different opinions. People have different lifestyle choices and even if yours clashes with it, it’s ok to let it go more often than not. If guys want to go get BBQ somewhere I don’t have to go and can find my own vegetarian friendly place. No one has to force each other to do anything they don’t want to. Same goes for partying. I don’t drink but I am ok going out and having fun. The difference with me and the other guys is that my idea of fun is good conversation, not talking over loud club music. I don’t have to feel guilty not going out if I don’t want to, because when you’re playing 20 shows in a row each day it’s nice to get some sleep and recharge my batteries. I don’t have to babysit party people because I don’t have to be out and all of us can deal with our own problems. I can have fun on my own terms and this tour has shown that. I also respect their decision to do what they want.

I’m learning how important focus is. Focus on the parts that make me me. Focus on what makes our band its own. We’ve tried a lot of different things out and we don’t consider anything a mistake but more of a lesson to learn from. I look at our defining traits and want to expand on those. Having an identity is incredibly important and I think this year is going to be full of things we’ve been wanting to do forever, reinvention and moving on. I look at my personal life the same way. Moving out of Flint and to apartments in Grand Blanc with my girlfriend. I’m learning that I can’t always be smelly band guy and Kate gives me more drive to reach for the stars. It’s OK to have nice taste in things when obviously the finances make sense. I used to be so negative about new/fancy things and always settled but now I realize it isn’t bad to live better. Although my touring life is sleeping in floors and barely showering my home life can help me work harder to where I don’t have to do that forever.

I used to be so upset that I don’t have a best friend like I did as a kid, but in all honestly it doesn’t matter. Kate is that for me and I have a lot of friends. What I’m learning is to slowly remove all of the people I know don’t care about me and not give them the time of day anymore. It makes life much more enjoyable. From touring nonstop my life is full of acquaintances and that’s definitely ok. I used to be so hurt when I lost touch with some of them but I know that’s because they don’t make the effort. This applies to people back home, people I’ve met on tour and even people in bands. I keep hearing people complaining about “person x” no longer following them on twitter or returning texts, but honestly there’s bigger things in life to worry about. Move on and enjoy the people who give a shit about you. They’re there for a reason.

I like the way I’ve been thinking lately and I think there’s a lot of really cool things up ahead. Rebuilding burned bridges, crossing them and headed to new uncharted territory. We’re all pioneers in one way or another, we just don’t know it yet.

Read this. It’s a great read, as always.

- Marlou

Notes (49)

  1. crashcontrol reblogged this from jonathandiener
  2. washroom-color reblogged this from jonathandiener and added:
    guys parts which would still...anyway, getting off track amazingness right hurrr
  3. jrichmanesq said: i guess this is growing up
  4. theswellersmi reblogged this from jonathandiener
  5. fuckyeahtheswellers reblogged this from jonathandiener and added:
    always. - Marlou
  6. ignorance-foolsandworthlessliars reblogged this from jonathandiener
  7. jforjeska said: i’m realizing a lot of the same things. works not what i want it to be. but someday it will be if i push myself. my “friends” aren’t there for me, but some people are. life’s difficult. i’m glad to hear you’re headed in the right direction. :)
  8. dannydeadhack said: I’ve really enjoyed hanging out with you again, dude. This tour especially. Being back in Michigan has been awesome. I feel like we’ve picked up with our friendship where we left off. Living across the country was hard. Onward to the next chapter! :)
  9. swellyeah reblogged this from jonathandiener
  10. iamkurtgalalah said: You’re an amazing person.
  11. jonathandiener posted this